Page 126 - Healthy (March - April 2020)

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We’re often told communication is the key British National Surveys of Sexual Attitudes and
Lifestyles showed that the strongest predictor of
to a healthy and happy sex life – but that’s both short- and long-term sexual problems in any
where the advice ends. So how do we type of sexual relationship is a lack of efective
communication,’ says sex educator Alix Fox.
actually approach that conversation?
‘Clear, compassionate and ongoing
conversations about sex are essential if you and
t’s one of life’s strange ironies that talking your partner are to feel optimally comfortable
about sex with a partner can make you and satisied with your love lives,’ Fox adds. ‘The
feel a whole lot more vulnerable than toxic myth abounds that if two people “have good
I actually, well, doing it. Whatever your chemistry” or are “meant to be”, they’ll “just know”
situation, from a lost spark to a desire to turn what each other’s desires are – but that’s simply
good sex into great sex, advice like ‘just talk untrue. It’s natural for our moods and tastes to
about it’ really doesn’t cut it – particularly when shift over time, and there’s a very limited amount
you’re worried about causing ofence. As a result, that can be gleaned about someone’s wishes and
many couples resign themselves to a sex life less emotions via non-verbal communication like body
than they deserve, or simply split up. ‘The latest language. I’ve seen too many promising pairings

126 healthy-magazine.co.uk