Page 12 - People Daily Newspaper

WITH A LIGHT TOUCH PEOPLE DAILY / Monday, September 20, 2021

Impeachable Sources
Kenyans told to use untaxed energy instead of complaining

Surprised by the fresh protest
against the sharp increase in fuel .".#0 ."5"5"
prices, the regulator and the taxman
have come out to strongly defend 5IF TPVSDF XBT RVJUF
themselves against accusations of
insensitivity to the economic plight VOBNVTFE UIBU TP NVDI GSFF
that Kenyans are going through. VOSFHVMBUFE BOE VOUBYFE FOFSHZ
Members of Parliament have also
washed their hands off the price TIPVME HP UP XBTUF JO QPJOUMFTT
hikes, saying they have no idea how QSPUFTUT
the commodity found itself in the sin
tax bracket.
According to the taxman and the He warned that should Kenyans
regulator, it is erroneous to claim insist on misusing such resources
that all forms of energy in Kenya are that are provided free of charge, the
highly taxed and priced. regulator and the taxman would con-
On the contrary, they say, the most sider restricting their use and taxing
basic energy forms are totally free them. “Physical, mental and emo-
and Kenyans should make use of tional energy, oxygen and hot air are
the abundant resources to make life public resources which must be used
easier instead of wasting them shout- prudently. Profligate and wanton
ing their voices hoarse and loitering spending of the precious resources
in urban streets. should attract punitive taxes,” said
“Rather than waste time loafing in another impeachable source who is
street corners talking to TV crews, Ke- familiar with the thinking in the cor-
nyans should start walking to work. ridors of taxation.
They have the God-given energy to The sun, which he said is another
place one foot in front of the other free energy source that the taxman
and soon they will find themselves in in his deep wisdom and unmatched
their destination,” said an impeach- compassion had decided not to tax, animals for meat and milk!” said the every now and then in the chambers, said MP Slumber Fofofo.
able source close to the regulators. would also be considered for VAT. taxman’s source. they insist that that is because they The MP accused the Treasury of
The source was quite unamused And instead of complaining about People can also use the energy are busy people who, like everybody, sneaking in the tax proposals when
that so much free, unregulated and the rise in the prices of other com- wasted in anti-fuel price hike street deserve a power nap in the afternoons. legislators were exhausted. He also
untaxed energy should go to waste in modities due to the high cost of fuel, demonstrations to chase and kill “Imagine spending the whole accused their awake colleagues of
pointless protests and unproductive the regulator and the taxman say their own food just the way our an- weekend crisscrossing the country not waking up the sleepy ones during
work like venting to the media about Kenyans should use their natural en- cestors did not too long ago. with the party leader singing his vir- debates. “Somebody should take the
the recent fuel prices increase. ergy to grow and rear their own food. Meanwhile, MPs have also denied tues and having busy nights of secret responsibility for these terrible taxes.
Too much free hot air and clean ox- “So what if the price of unga or accusations that they literally sleep meetings and unwinding parties. By And that includes our colleagues who
ygen, which should be used to drive bread goes up? There is enough free on the job when tax proposals are be- Tuesday you are completely exhaust- did not nudge us to wake up during
the economy, were being expended physical energy that we don’t tax that ing discussed and passed. ed and you need a little rest which the debate and passing of the tax pro-
in such futile pursuits, the source Kenyans should use to grow and mill While the waheshimiwa admit that you can only get inside the chamber posals,” said Fofofo.
observed. their own grains and rear their own they occasionally take their forty winks as boring colleagues sing the lullaby,” —matatacolumn@gmail.com

From the Counties
Why MCA’s spouses will miss out on hefty send-off perks

“You see,” I said trying to look these people ‘something’ for fuel?
I think I am one of the most composed, “the government must After all, I had some cash in the ve-
promising MCAs in the country - I .$" (8*/40 collect taxes to build things like hicle – with the campaign mood set-
am always making promises. How- roads and hospitals, and pay work- ting in, one must always have some
ever, I blame circumstances beyond * BSSJWFE BU UIF DPVOUZ BTTFNCMZ POMZ UP ers.” ready cash.
my control for my inability to keep àOE UIF )PVTF UISPVHI XJUI UIF DSVDJBM #JMM “Nonsense!” someone shouted “Naona ni kama mnataka mafuta
these promises, even those made to followed by a wave of murmurs. kidogo,” I said. The mood changed
people closest to me. You will agree Everybody was saying something instantly. I received a thunderous
with me after you find out what “Why?” I had identified a few like-minded loudly. It took the fervent efforts of applause. I opened my car door, took
happened on Friday. “You are always thinking only of MCAs who would definitely back Nzaya for calm to return. “What is out a wad of currency notes, beck-
From the beginning of last week, yourselves. What of your spouses my proposal. I had hardly driven for your question, Madevu?” he asked oned Nzaya and handed the money
a rumour had been circulating that who have always supported you? two kilometres when I came across pointing at a man with an exagger- to him. “Hiyo ni ya mafuta yenu,” I
plans were underway to award sen- Don’t they too deserve a send-off a sizeable crowd of boda boda op- ated beard that was threatening to announced for all to hear. Immedi-
ators, governors, assembly speakers package?” she said. erators. Being a man of the people, engulf his face mask. ately hell broke loose. It was a free for
and MCAs hefty send-off packages She continued: “ Do you know I could not pass them unaddressed. “Bwana MCA, who pays for the fuel all, with everybody trying to snatch
upon completion of their terms in how many times I have had to part Shouts of ‘Gwinsoree’ rent the air as for this big machine of yours?” the money from Nzaya. I took the
2022. with my last coin, on your behalf, to I alighted from the vehicle and did a “I pay for it myself,” I answered. advantage of the melee and drove off.
According to the heart-warming help out someone in need? People few fist bumps. “How much do you earn in a I arrived at the county assembly
rumour, all we had to do was pass assume we have it all since our “Shhhh, order!” one of the men day?” only to find the House through with
the send-off benefits Bill in our spouses are supposed to be stinking shouted. “Karibu, Bwana MCA,” the I was tongue-tied. The interroga- the crucial Bill. I learnt that they had
county assemblies. On Thursday, rich. And yet we have nothing!” man continued. He then lowered his tion continued unabated. “Do you passed it in two minutes. My at-
the rumour graduated into the truth Her frustrated-sounding voice face mask and I realised it was Nzaya know how much we bodas get in tempt to introduce the amendment
when we were informed that there succeeded in laying a guilt trip on Nzayadio, my former aide. a day? Aren’t you ashamed that we was rejected outright.
would be a special sitting very early me. I found myself promising to “We boda boda operators have buy fuel at same price as you do? “Too late, Bwana Gwinso,” said
the following morning to debate the propose an amendment to the MCA some questions for you as our “Our taxes buy his fuel!” someone the Speaker. “If you were serious
MCA,” he said. “First of all, why are
bill. That evening, I arrived home send-off package bill to include added in a gruff voice. There fol- about that issue, you should have
in high spirits and broke the good perks for the spouses too. the fuel prices are so high in Kenya?” lowed a barrage of fuel price-related come early.”
news to Mama Hirohito, daughter of After a blissful night and a special The silence that followed was in- questions, many of which I could I am yet to convince Mama Hiro
my mum-in-law. breakfast, I left the house. I was timidating. I did not have a ready not answer. I started worrying I I did not skip the House session on
“You people are very selfish,” she armed to the teeth with powerful answer. I immediately thought of would be late for the assembly sit- purpose. Sijui nifanyeje.
responded coldly. points to justify the spouse package. taxes. ting. An idea hit me: Why not give — a.otieno@pu.ac.ke