Page 327 - SHERLOCK transcripts

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(Lowering his hands, he picks up a book and holds it up to show Greg. The book is called “How
to write an unforgettable best man speech”.)
SHERLOCK: Have you any funny stories about John?
(Greg stares at him in disbelief. Outside, police cars are sirening their way into Baker Street and
screeching to a halt.)
LESTRADE: What?!
(Putting the book down, Sherlock looks up at him.)
SHERLOCK: I need anecdotes.
(He seems to notice Greg’s expression.)
SHERLOCK: Didn’t go to any trouble, did you?
(Greg stares at him, still breathing heavily. Outside, an ambulance is sirening its way up the
road, and a helicopter can be heard approaching. Sherlock’s eyes shift sideways when he
becomes aware of the noise outside, and the curtains in the open window behind him billow
inwards as the helicopter hovers lower. Sherlock looks round as the billowing curtains knock
some sheet music off its stand. Greg closes his eyes in exasperation.)

OPENING CREDITS.

At 221B Baker Street, violin playing can be heard, playing a gentle waltz. Mrs Hudson comes
out of 221A carrying a tray of tea things. She stops, smiling with delight at the sound of the
music, then goes up the stairs. The living room door is closed and she stops outside for a
moment, then opens the door. Inside, Sherlock isn’t playing his violin as she believed. Instead,
wearing a camel coloured dressing gown over his shirt and trousers, he is waltzing around the
room on his own, holding an imaginary partner while he dances in time to the music. He
glances over his shoulder when his landlady walks in.
SHERLOCK: Shut up, Mrs Hudson.
MRS HUDSON: I haven’t said a word.
SHERLOCK (sighing as he continues to waltz): You’re formulating a question. It’s physically
painful watching you thinking.
(He stops dancing.)
MRS HUDSON: I thought it was you playing.
SHERLOCK (gesturing to a music player on the dining table): It was me playing.
(He picks up a remote control, switches off the music player and bends down to make a
notation on the sheet music lying on the table.)
SHERLOCK: I am composing.
MRS HUDSON (putting her tray onto the table beside John’s chair): You were dancing.
SHERLOCK: I was road-testing.
MRS HUDSON: You what?
SHERLOCK (throwing down his pen and turning to her): Why are you here?
MRS HUDSON: I’m bringing you your morning tea. (She pours some milk into the teacup.)
You’re not usually awake.
SHERLOCK (sitting down in his chair): You bring me tea in the morning?
MRS HUDSON (pouring the tea): Well, where d’you think it came from?!
SHERLOCK: I don’t know. I just thought it sort of happened.
MRS HUDSON: Your mother has a lot to answer for.
(She takes the cup and saucer over to him.)
SHERLOCK: Mm, I know. I have a list. Mycroft has a file.
(Giggling, Mrs H sits down in John’s chair.)
MRS HUDSON (excitedly): So – it’s the big day, then!
SHERLOCK (taking a sip of tea): What big day?
MRS HUDSON: The wedding! John and Mary getting married!
SHERLOCK: Two people who currently live together are about to attend church, have a party,
go on a short holiday and then carry on living together. What’s big about that?
MRS HUDSON: It changes people, marriage.
SHERLOCK: Mmm, no it doesn’t.
MRS HUDSON: Well, you wouldn’t understand ’cause you always live alone.
(Sherlock is lifting his teacup to his mouth but stops momentarily.)
SHERLOCK: Your husband was executed for double murder. You’re hardly an advert for
companionship. (He drinks.)
MRS HUDSON: Marriage changes you as a person, in ways that you can’t imagine.
SHERLOCK: As does lethal injection. (He smiles pointedly at her.)

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)