Page 330 - SHERLOCK transcripts

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(David opens his mouth but is unable to speak.)
SHERLOCK (looking down and making a note): I think from now on we’ll downgrade you to
‘casual acquaintance.’ No more than three planned social encounters a year, and always in
John’s presence.
(He puts the pen down and folds his hands again, looking intensely at David.)
SHERLOCK: I have your contact details. I will be monitoring.
DAVID (a little wide-eyed): They’re right about you. You’re a bloody psychopath.
SHERLOCK: High-functioning sociopath ... with your number.
(He grins manically, showing a lot of teeth, then drops the smile and steeples his hands in front
of his chin, looking sternly at David. David looks down, then lets out a nervous breath and gets
up and walks away. Sherlock picks up the Sudokube and puts it back into its proper position on
the table.)

THE PRESENT. David makes a couple of anxious noises, waves briefly to Mary and goes indoors.
John looks round at Sherlock with a curious expression but Sherlock raises his head and looks
inscrutable. The next guest approaches.
MARY: Hello!
(The greetings continue. A woman in a black and white dress approaches and kisses Mary.)
MARY: Pleased to see you.
(The woman moves on to kiss and hug John.)
WOMAN: Congratulations.
JOHN: Thanks for coming, thank you.
(The young pageboy is standing a few paces away. Mary smiles down at him.)
MARY: Hello, Archie!
(The boy’s eyes are fixed on Sherlock and the moment he has a clear route he runs straight to
him and wraps his arms around him, smiling happily. Sherlock looks awkwardly down at him.)
SHERLOCK: Mm, yes, um, well done in the service, Archie.
(The woman in the black and white dress, obviously Archie’s mother, smiles at them.)
MUM: He’s really come out of his shell. I don’t know how you did it.
SHERLOCK: Um ...

FLASHBACK. 221B. Sherlock sits in his chair and looks at Archie sitting in John’s chair. They
stare straight-faced at each other for a moment, then Sherlock draws in a breath.
SHERLOCK: Basically it’s a cute smile to the bride’s side, cute smile to the groom’s side and
then the rings.
ARCHIE (instantly): No.
SHERLOCK: And you have to wear the outfit.
ARCHIE (instantly): No.
SHERLOCK: You really do have to wear the outfit.
ARCHIE (instantly): What for?
SHERLOCK: Grown-ups like that sort of thing.
ARCHIE (instantly): Why?
(Sherlock pauses for a moment.)
SHERLOCK: ... I don’t know. I’ll ask one.
ARCHIE (more slowly, thoughtfully): You’re a detective.
SHERLOCK: Yep. (He pops the ‘p’ loudly.)
ARCHIE: Have you solved any murders?
SHERLOCK: Sure. Loads.
ARCHIE: Can I see?
SHERLOCK (after only a momentary hesitation): Yeah, all right.
(They get up and go over to the laptop on the dining table. Sherlock shows him a series of
pictures – which we can’t see – and after a while Archie leans in to look more closely at an
image.)
ARCHIE: What’s all the stuff in his eye?
SHERLOCK: Maggots.
ARCHIE: Cool!
SHERLOCK (looking at him for a moment): Mm!

THE PRESENT. Archie is still hugging Sherlock.
MUM: He said you had some pictures for him, as a treat.
SHERLOCK: Er, yes ... (he pats Archie’s head) ... if he’s good.

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)