Page 340 - SHERLOCK transcripts
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SHERLOCK: Oh yes.
(He sits down. Mary leans closer to him.)
MARY: Who else hates me?
(Instantly Sherlock hands her a sheet of paper. There’s a long list of names on it.)
MARY: Oh great – thanks(!)
JOHN (looking at his phone): Priceless painting nicked. Looks interesting.
MARY (looking at paperwork on the table): Table four ...
SHERLOCK: Done.
JOHN (chuckling at something on his screen): “My husband is three people.”
MARY: Table five.
SHERLOCK (looking at a list): Major James Sholto. Who he?
MARY: Oh, John’s old commanding officer. I don’t think he’s coming.
JOHN: He’ll be there.
MARY: Well, he needs to RSVP, then.
JOHN (firmly): He’ll be there.
MARY: Mmm ...
JOHN (reading from his phone): “My husband is three people.” It’s interesting. Says he has
three distinct patterns of moles on his skin.
SHERLOCK (standing up and speaking quick fire): Identical triplets – one in half a million births.
Solved it without leaving the flat. Now, serviettes.
(He squats down beside the coffee table, reaches under it and pulls out a tray with two
serviettes folded into different shapes. He gestures to them as he looks up at Mary.)
SHERLOCK: Swan, or Sydney Opera House?
MARY: Where’d you learn to do that?!
SHERLOCK (looking down): Many unexpected skills required in the field of criminal investigation
...
MARY: Fibbing, Sherlock.
SHERLOCK: I once broke an alibi by demonstrating the exact severity of ...
MARY: I’m not John. I can tell when you’re fibbing.
SHERLOCK (exasperated): Okay – I learned it on YouTube.
MARY: Opera House, please.
(She leans to one side and reaches into her trouser pocket.)
MARY: Ooh, hang on. I’m buzzing.
(She takes out her phone and lifts it to her ear.)
MARY: Hello?
(She listens for a second, then stands up.)
MARY: Oh, hi, Beth!
(John’s eyes lift from his phone as Mary heads for the kitchen.)
MARY (into phone): Yeah, yeah, don’t see why not.
JOHN (standing up and looking at Sherlock): Actually, if that’s Beth, it’s probably for me too.
Hang on.
(He heads for the kitchen, while Sherlock sits down on the floor cross-legged and facing the
coffee table.
In the kitchen, John smiles at Mary as he walks closer to her. They talk quietly.)
JOHN: He knows we don’t have a friend called Beth. He’s gonna figure out that it’s code.
MARY: He’s YouTube-ing serviettes.
JOHN: He’s thorough.
MARY: He’s terrified.
JOHN: ’Course he’s not.
MARY: Right, you know when you’re scared of something, you start wishing it sooner just to get
it all going? That’s what he’s doing.
JOHN: Why would he be scared that we’re getting married? It’s not gonna change anything –
we’ll still do stuff.
MARY: Well, you need to prove it to him. I told you to find him a new case.
JOHN: I’m trying.
MARY: You need to run him, okay? Show him it’s still the good old days.
(She nods encouragingly to him. He doesn’t immediately respond, and she nods again and
gestures towards the living room. He looks around, then turns and slowly starts towards the
door between the kitchen and the living room. Mary puts her hands on his back and shoves him
forward.
Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)

