Page 33 - Natural Health (February 2020)

COLUMNIST
Soul MEDITATIONS

TRY A LITTLE

TENDERNESS

Self-compassion is the key to emotional
intelligence, says Emma Cannon

We are evolving into a time where the we and not the me
is the focus. This doesn’t mean that we diminish the self. On
the contrary, part of my teaching is that if we want to mother
another, irst we must mother ourselves. I believe self-compassion
forms the building blocks of emotional intelligence. If we are truly
compassionate with ourselves, then we are able to have limitless
compassion for others.
ACT FOR GREATER GOOD
2019 was about clearing past shadows and dealing with secrets and
sides of ourselves that normally remain hidden; 2020 is about acting
for the greater good. 2020 is about showing up for a cause greater
than ourselves; having a world view, or simply doing something in
the world, that makes a difference. What the world needs now is not
more knowledge, it needs more wisdom and compassion.
HOLD SPACE FOR SOMEONE
Compassion and empathy are not about solving problems for
people; compassion is about witnessing the other person and
holding space for them to delve more deeply into their feelings. A QUICK GUIDE TO BEING COMPASSIONATE
In fact, when we try and ix, solve or make less of people’s • Listen: The most important quality of compassion is listening.
suffering, we are really denying ourselves the opportunity to hold Bombarding people with questions rarely helps, yet carefully chosen
compassionate space for another. If you’d like to become more questions that bring the other person closer to their feelings gives
compassionate and empathetic there are a few simple ways to them the space to explore their emotions and arrive at their
get started. own conclusions.
• Support solutions: If you are there to support people in inding
their own solutions, then you are working in a compassionate way.
If you rush in with the solution or try and ix the problem, then
you’re doing them a disservice.
• Empower growth: One of the most disempowering things you
can do is to allow your own need to save the situation to deny the
other person an opportunity to grow.
• Don’t compare: Try to resist the temptation to use
comparisons. Situations are rarely the same and a bad comparison
can really disempower the other person. Furthermore, it can feel
like one-upmanship. We all know that person who has to run
everything through their own ilter; its mostly unhelpful unless
the comparison is indeed on a par. In general, avoid making the
conversation about you.
This year, I urge you to make compassion a priority; my
challenge to you is to become really rather brilliant at it. Remember
to start with self-compassion and then gradually extend this out to
those who need support.

Emma is an integrated women’s health expert, registered
acupuncturist and author emmacannon.co.uk

NATURAL HEALTH 33