Page 64 - Mother & Baby - UK (March 2020)

Love is
all around us
You are your baby’s first love – here’s how to build on your bond
d ort his ability to forge connections as he grows…
t this time of year we’re
constantly being bombarded
by hearts and flowers and mad,
overblown images of romance
that most of us fall well short of
Ain our usual day-to-day lives.
But there is one rush you feel that means
more than a million Valentine’s Day cards
and a houseful of flowers – that crazy little
thing called love you have with your baby.
Because, right now, you’re the centre of his
universe, and the very first person he’ll have
a relationship with. You are his first love.
And it’s from the bond he makes with
you that he’ll learn how to handle all of his
future connections as he grows. Yes, all of
his future friends, playmates, even romantic
relationships, will stem from your special
bond. Research suggests that the quality of
the relationships in your child’s early years
will affect almost every aspect of his later
development, from his self-confidence to
PHOTOGRAPHYSHUTTERSTOCK,ADOBESTOCK
his motivation to learn and his ability
to forge friendships. By understanding
how your baby bonds with you, you
can support these developing skills.
Just like any relationship, the
moment true love strikes happens at
different times for different people:
some mums feel a strong bond growing
with their bump, some find it’s love at first
sight, while for some it can take days or
months for it to form and strengthen. But
whichever way it happens, it does happen.
Attachment is based on familiarity so, simply
WORDSHATTIEGARLICK this connection happens from the get-go.
by being with your baby, your bond grows.
From your baby’s point of view, though,
‘From the moment of birth, if not before,
babies appear to have innate mechanisms that
prompt them to learn about who looks after
them, and who can teach them about social
62 | Mar ch 2020 | mothe ra ndbaby.co.uk
interaction,’ explains clinical psychologist
Professor Pasco Fearon. Skin-to-skin contact
with your newborn releases oxytocin, a
hormone that promotes bonding. And
experiments show that babies as young as
12 hours old show a clear preference for
watching their mum’s face over those of
MEET THE strangers, and for her voice. In fact, babies
EXPERT in the womb have been shown to turn their
heads in response to voices outside from just
Professor Pasco 24 weeks into a pregnancy, so your baby
Fearon is a professor will have grown used to yours well before
of developmental he makes his appearance.
psychopathology Your bond grows as you spend time
and a clinical together. ‘The attachment process is very
psychologist at much a two-way street, involving you
University College as much as your baby,’ explains Pasco.
London And that’s because all those day-to-
day interactions you have with your
little one are the building blocks of
his early brain development.
tip When your baby
babbles, you
When you’re soothing respond
your baby, make your first
step to slow everything
down. What’s important is
that you’re connecting with
your baby, rather than
rushing to find an
instant fix.