Page 163 - English for Writing Research Papers

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8.8 When you have something really important to say, make
your sentences shorter than normal
Readers’ eyes tend to be attracted most to the white space between sentences and to
the capital letter that begins each sentence (try testing this out for yourself). This
means that shorter sentences are noticed more, and of course they are generally
easier to follow and understand.

This visual factor is critical to the impact of your paper. It is very similar to a good
oral presentation. When presenters have something important to say, they slow
down the speed of their voice, speak a little louder or more emphatically, use much
shorter sentences, and use particular adverbs (e.g. importantly, interestingly, remark-
ably ) to attract attention. Presenters do this to (i) attract the audience’s attention, (ii)
to underline the importance of what they are saying, (iii) to help the audience under-
stand what is being said.

Here is an example from a Discussion. The OV is one long sentence. The italics in
the RV highlight where each new sentence begins.

original version (ov) revised version (rv)
The method developed in this work relies Our method relies on a sample pre-
on a sample pre-treatment that allows a treatment that only requires a minimal level
low final dilution, guaranteeing, on the of dilution. In addition, it guarantees a

other hand , a negligible shift of pH with negligible shift in pH with regard to the
regard to different specimens to be tested different specimens to be tested (±0.15
(±0.15 units from 23 samples tested) ; units from 23 samples tested). Importantly ,
however, the slight shifts of pH do not the slight shifts in pH do not alter the
alter the response of the test, as shown by response of the test. This is revealed by the
the overlapping of standard curves overlapping of standard curves obtained by
obtained by spiking buffers at different pH spiking buffers at different pH with IGF-1.
with IGF-1.

In the RV it is much easier for readers to quickly identify where the innovation in
the author’s method lies, what the results are, and how these results reveal them-
selves. Note the replacement of however with importantly . The link word however
seems to suggest that something negative will follow, whereas the use of impor-
tantly shows that in fact it is something very positive.

To learn how to break up long sentences, see Chapter 4 .