Page 31 - Berg_Mortuary_Bishops_Guide

BERG MORTUARY 31
one. But it’s obvious that this is one of those times when there will be no divine intervention.

Try this! We’ve been staggered by the number of well-meaning friends who want us to hear
tapes on healing, read miracle-cure books, or try herbs and diets. Most of these remedies are
contradicted by my doctors, and none are scientifically proven. Some are even dangerous.
I want to see you but I can’t face it. We all prefer to avoid death and dying. Many good
friends have told one of us, “I want to come by, but I just can’t.” I have no answers for that, I
guess. But avoidance is no answer to most of life’s unpleasant things. Even a short note or letter

is better than staying away.
Now that I’ve covered things people shouldn’t do, let me say that there is plenty they can do!
Family members aren’t always able to meet all their own needs during times of emotional tur-
moil, and friends can fill in to make life easier. Think about these.

Are there some things you would like to talk about? At this time in our lives, memories are
very important to me and my family. As I stand between the past and the future, I have remi-
niscences and questions. Walk with me through my memories. Don’t hesitate to say, “ Remem-
ber when….? Personal and family histories can be enhanced in a priceless manner as we share
memories—maybe even on a tape recorder.

Are there some specific things that you could use some help with right now? When my
neighbor saw my broken fence and fixed it, he knew that I needed help. But other needs aren’t
as easily determined without asking. I appreciate those who gently probe to see what’s needed;
it’s more effective and appreciated than barging in and “taking over.”
I was concerned that my estate and the financial provisions for my family be in order, but

didn’t quite know how to go about determining whether they were. One day my bishop, who
is a certified public accountant, came to see me. “If you’d like me to,” he said, “I’d be happy to
review your estate with you and your wife.” I was relieved to learn after his review that things
were as we wished them to be.
Personal history projects often have many undone “loose ends.” Try finding out where you
can help—transcribing tape recordings, labeling pictures, filing material.

“Can I put the new battery in the car?” “Would you like me to fix the loose carpet on the
stairs?” “I’d love to give the children a ride to school” are examples of how you can help. But
please let us decide if we need the help you offer.

And please don’t be offended if we say no when you ask. Maybe the time isn’t right just now.
But it may be later.
Would you like a blessing? Both now and in the future, I hope that someone will say to my
wife and children, “Would you like a blessing?” I have had several beautiful blessings since I