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me, a person who was so confident never thought I could become
one of them. Was it curiosity or was I just trying to escape the brutal
reality? Until today, I still have no answer.
I started breathing more heavily and more frequently. It was
like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the atmosphere, leaving
only the nitrogen and carbon dioxide to enter my lungs. My mind
wasn’t working right and for once I started to think about the
astronaut floating in space that I had once seen in a movie. He was
the captain and his spaceship had exploded. He was the only one
who had survived the explosion and his oxygen tank was slowly
emptying. What would he be thinking, knowing that he had only a
few more hours to live and was going to die in a deserted and
endless universe? Would he just sleep and tell himself that
everything would turn out alright in the end and that a miracle
would happen and a spaceship would rescue him? Would he start
crying and regretting what he hadn’t done and about the people he
did not have a chance to say goodbye? Or would he just smile and
realize that he has had a good life, a good family, did his best, and
had lived every day as his last? The movie ended with him smiling
and feeling happy with his life.

Suddenly, I came back to reality, gasped for air, and tears
started to run down my cheeks. People stopped what they were
doing and started to turn around and look at me. I hated the looks
on their faces. I hated the attention. I hated the disgusted and
slightly terrified looks on those people’s faces.

I screamed, “What are you looking at!, Stop looking at me
and mind your own business.”