Page 250 - creative spark 2020

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I felt as if I was floating. The grey world seemed more
colorful and at that moment, I felt like I had magic powers that fly
and make things float. Was I in heaven? I never felt that way for
years. After that high, I crashed hard and was not able to go to
school for days. I vomited until I was so tired. Why was happiness
paid by such a high price, I thought. I told myself not to use them
again and I was confident that I was one of the few who are strong
enough to not be under the influence of those drugs. I was totally
too positive.
The next day, I could not concentrate and all I could think of
is the drugs. What if I am always high by constantly taking drugs?
I’ll never crash and will be the happiest person on earth! What a
genius, I thought. After that, I took drugs on a daily basis but things
did not go out as planned. I needed more of the drug and could not
continue my daily life without it. It was terrible and my life was now
under the drug’s control. One day, my blood was tested and I did
not even think that it would show. It’s just over the counter drugs
right? I was too optimistic. The next morning, the hospital called,
and I was sent to rehab right away. And now I am here, in rehab,
still able to sneak in drugs, take drugs, and still be unhappy.

I snapped back to reality, suddenly gained my composure,
breathed in and out and said, “It’s only me, and I’m sorry for what
has happened. I just don’t know how else to feel happy. No one
ever loved me nor cared about me. Can you give me a chance? Can
I start over?” I said with a genuine voice with tears overflowing.