Page 249 - creative spark 2020

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She said, “Somehow you have managed to hide your drugs,
is the treatment not working?” I still kept quiet. She opened the
drawer, picked up a bag of pills, and continued to talk. “I found it
in the restroom cabinet this morning and confiscated all of it. Tell
me, is it only you or are there more people doing this?” I did not say
anything and kept staring at my feet.

I love the feeling when I outsmart people. I love the
adrenaline rushing through my veins. I love it when people left the
restroom at last, leaving only me and the drugs. Every morning
I grabbed a couple of pills into my pocket, gently closed the bag,
and walked out of the restroom through the guards. I tried to act as
normal as I could. I always smiled at them, and after I was out of
sight, I ran as quickly and quietly to my room and enjoyed my
happiness. The feeling when I succeeded made me feel euphoric.
I knew people searched our rooms, and I knew that sometimes the
most dangerous places can be the safest.
My mind drifted off to when this all started. Two years ago,
when I wanted to try being happy for once so I came to several
pharmacies and mixed up my own happiness. That day I wrote a
little something in my diary:
Everything just seemed a little grayer. I slowly opened my
eyes and noticed the colors that have faded. The vibrant colors
seemed less vibrant and what usually seemed dark seemed a little
duller. The colorfulness of the world slowly faded, and it made the
world less appealing to live in. Is it the world or is it me? Or is it the
invisible gray filter covering my vision?
The world seemed a little grayer than it used to.