Page 157 - SHERLOCK transcripts

156

JOHN: Lucky escape(!)
LESTRADE (to Sherlock): Any ideas?
SHERLOCK (examining the man’s hand with his magnifier): Eight, so far.
(He straightens up and looks at the body again, then frowns momentarily.)
SHERLOCK: Okay, four ideas.
(He turns to Lestrade and looks down at the passport and the ticket stub of the passenger, John
Coniston, who was meant to be travelling on Flyaway Airways [oh, good invented name,
production guys(!)]. Straightening up again, he gazes up into the sky.)
SHERLOCK: Maybe two ideas.
(The shadow of a passenger jet passes overhead.)

Back at the flat, Sherlock – wearing heavy protective gloves and safety glasses and carrying a
blowtorch in one hand and a glass container of green liquid in the other – has come to the living
room table to look at John’s latest blog entry which is titled “Sherlock Holmes baffled.”
SHERLOCK (indignantly): No, no, no, don’t mention the unsolved ones.
JOHN: People want to know you’re human.
SHERLOCK: Why?
JOHN: ’Cause they’re interested.
SHERLOCK: No they’re not. Why are they?
(John smiles at his laptop.)
JOHN: Look at that.
(He’s looking at the hit counter on the front page of his blog. Its count is currently 1895.)
JOHN: One thousand, eight hundred and ninety-five.
SHERLOCK: Sorry, what?
JOHN: I re-set that counter last night. This blog has had nearly two thousand hits in the last
eight hours. This is your living, Sherlock – not two hundred and forty different types of tobacco
ash.
SHERLOCK (sulkily): Two hundred and forty-three.
(Firing up the blowtorch, he puts his safety glasses back on and heads back towards the
kitchen.)

THEATRE. Sherlock and John are walking across the stage of a theatre while police officers mill
around nearby.
SHERLOCK: So, what’s this one? “Belly Button Murders”?
JOHN: “The Navel Treatment”?
SHERLOCK: Eurgh!
(They walk backstage and meet up with Lestrade as they head for the exit.)
LESTRADE: There’s a lot of press outside, guys.
SHERLOCK: Well, they won’t be interested in us.
LESTRADE: Yeah, that was before you were an internet phenomenon. A couple of them
specifically wanted photographs of you two.
SHERLOCK (exasperated, glaring round at John): For God’s sake!
(John quirks a smile as they walk on, then Sherlock spots some costumes on a rack just inside a
nearby dressing room. He walks in and grabs a couple of items off the rack.)
SHERLOCK: John.
(He tosses a cap at him.)
SHERLOCK: Cover your face and walk fast.
LESTRADE: Still, it’s good for the public image, a big case like this.
SHERLOCK: I’m a private detective. The last thing I need is a public image.
(He puts on the other hat that he had picked up – a deerstalker – and heads out the exit door
pulling the hat as low as possible over his eyes and tugging up the collar of his coat. Outside,
photographers start taking pictures of him and John.)
(Later, some of the pictures have been used in various newspapers, together with headlines
such as “Hat-man and Robin: The web detectives”, “Sherlock Net ‘Tec”, “Sherlock & John:
Blogger Detectives” and “Sherlock Holmes: net phenomenon”. [N.B. see the text of the
newspaper articles in the Comments below (click here to jump to the articles).]
The last of these newspaper reports has caught the attention of Irene Adler, who slowly strokes
her hand over the photograph of Sherlock, then runs her hand along her riding crop before
laying it down on top of the photograph. She picks up her phone and dials.)
IRENE (into phone): Hello. I think it’s time, don’t you?

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)