Page 162 - SHERLOCK transcripts

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SHERLOCK: I take the precaution of a good coat and a short friend.
(He walks abruptly past John, forcing him to step back, and approaches his brother.)
SHERLOCK: Mycroft, I don’t do anonymous clients. I’m used to mystery at one end of my cases.
Both ends is too much work.
(He looks round to the equerry.)
SHERLOCK: Good morning.
(He starts to walk out of the room but Mycroft steps onto the trailing edge of the sheet behind
him. Sherlock’s impetus carries him forward while pulling the sheet off his body. He stops and
grabs at it before he’s completely naked and tries to tug it back around himself, looking
furious.)
MYCROFT: This is a matter of national importance. Grow up.
(With his back still turned to his brother, Sherlock speaks through gritted teeth.)
SHERLOCK: Get off my sheet!
MYCROFT: Or what?
SHERLOCK: Or I’ll just walk away.
MYCROFT: I’ll let you.
JOHN: Boys, please. Not here.
SHERLOCK (almost incandescent with rage): Who. Is. My. Client?
MYCROFT: Take a look at where you’re standing and make a deduction. You are to be engaged
by the highest in the land. Now for God’s sake ...
(He breaks off and glances at the equerry briefly, trying to get his anger under control before he
turns back to his brother again.)
MYCROFT (exasperated): ... put your clothes on!
(Sherlock closes his eyes furiously, then pulls in a sharp breath.)

Some time later, Sherlock has dressed and is sitting on the sofa beside John. Mycroft and the
equerry sit on the opposite sofa. Mycroft is pouring tea from a teapot. Following the old-
fashioned superstition that only one person in the household – usually the mother of the family
– should pour the tea, and so any person pouring tea is “being mother,” he looks at the equerry
and smiles.
MYCROFT: I’ll be mother.
SHERLOCK (pointedly): And there is a whole childhood in a nutshell.
(Mycroft glowers at him, then puts down the teapot. The equerry looks at Sherlock.)
EQUERRY: My employer has a problem.
MYCROFT: A matter has come to light of an extremely delicate and potentially criminal nature,
and in this hour of need, dear brother, your name has arisen.
SHERLOCK: Why? You have a police force of sorts, even a marginally Secret Service. Why come
to me?
EQUERRY: People do come to you for help, don’t they, Mr Holmes?
SHERLOCK: Not, to date, anyone with a Navy.
MYCROFT: This is a matter of the highest security, and therefore of trust.
JOHN: You don’t trust your own Secret Service?
MYCROFT: Naturally not. They all spy on people for money.
(John bites back a smile.)
EQUERRY: I do think we have a timetable.
MYCROFT: Yes, of course. Um ...
(He opens his briefcase, takes out a glossy photograph and hands it to Sherlock who looks at
the picture of Irene Adler.)
MYCROFT: What do you know about this woman?
SHERLOCK: Nothing whatsoever.
MYCROFT: Then you should be paying more attention.
(As he continues to speak, we switch between the palace and footage of Irene who is being
driven through London. Her phone trills a text alert and she looks at the message which reads
“I’m sending you a treat”.)
MYCROFT: She’s been at the centre of two political scandals in the last year, and recently ended
the marriage of a prominent novelist by having an affair with both participants separately.
SHERLOCK: You know I don’t concern myself with trivia. Who is she?
MYCROFT: Irene Adler, professionally known as The Woman.
(Arriving at an elegant house in London, Irene’s female chauffeur opens the car door for her
and then precedes her into the house. Irene’s phone shows that it is downloading an image as
she walks indoors.)

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)