Page 205 - (DK) Help Your Kids with Growing Up: A No-Nonsense Guide to Puberty and Adolescence

BREAKUPS 203

Coping with a breakup P ARENT TIPS
Whether a person made the decision to end a relationship How to help
or not, it’s normal for them to feel a range of emotions after
a breakup, from confusion and sadness to anger, denial, and If your teen is going through a breakup, it’s natural for them to
disbelief. There are active steps teens can take to cope with the feel sad – whether they want it to end or not. They may want
emotions caused by a breakup. These steps won’t necessarily to be closer to you and the family, or they may want distance
happen naturally, and so teens may need to push themselves and time alone. Follow your teen’s lead on this. Let them know
through each stage. that you’re there to talk if they want to.

Acknowledgement Distraction Acceptance Moving on
A person needs to recognize Seeing friends and keeping Over time, a person will As a person accepts the
and accept their feelings busy helps a person to grow to accept that the breakup, they become
before they can move on. overcome breakup emotions. relationship is over. able to look to the future.

Staying friends
Learning from a breakup Remaining friends with the person on the other side of a breakup
It’s not possible to change the past, but people can be extremely difficult, particularly if one person did not want
can learn from it. It’s helpful to think back on the relationship to end. Continuing to lean on the person who
the positives and negatives of a relationship. ended the relationship can send the other backwards in the
process – and so most people cut all contact with their exes.
However, those who succeed in staying friends often benefit
from strong, lifelong friendships.
Think about your last relationship – the good and
the bad. What can you bring to a new relationship
that you learned from this one?

What did you like about yourself when you were
in the relationship? Build on this belief for the
future – strong individuals form strong couples.

If thinking about the relationship brings back
painful memories, acknowledge them, and then
think of ways to avoid this in the future. △ Moving on
Ensuring that both people have enough time and space to
recover and move on is the key to staying friends in the future.

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