Page 26 - Cosmopolitan - USA (February 2020)

y o u

Are you T H AT

Your instinct says no, but your
person on the plane? bare feet say yes.

B y H A N N A H C H A M B E R S

B E H A V I O R S

Tally up all the offenses you’re
guilty of—be honest!

Whipping open the Passive aggressively
window shade for knocking your
a sunrise Boomerang neighbor’s elbow to
A D D 4 P O I N T S claim an armrest
that isn’t really yours
A D D 2 P O I N T S

Clapping when the Choking everyone out
plane lands because with the stench of your
you survived mild urgent nail polish
turbulence touch-ups
A D D 4 P O I N T S A D D 4 P O I N T S

Sticking your bag in a Making yourself right
bin up front because TF at home by walking
you’re too lazy to down the aisle barefoot
drag it all the way like you own this plane
back to your seat A D D 3 P O I N T S
A D D 3 P O I N T S

Applying the goopy Making shameless
face mask you #PlaneContent like
somehow got through you’re a travel influencer
security even though (FYI: you’re visiting your
it’s 3.5 fluid ounces aunt in Kansas)
A D D 2 P O I N T S A D D 3 P O I N T S

Snapping a pic for Quoting “I’m ready to
Twitter of someone else PAAARTAY” from
doing something gross Bridesmaids (srsly,
A D D 2 P O I N T S it’s 2020)
A D D 5 P O I N T S R E S U L T S

Dropping SkinnyPop Sleeping through your
0 TO 13 POINTS 14 TO 30 POINTS 31 TO 46 POINTS
crumbs all over the super-loud birth-
place like Hansel control alarm for a Literal Not, like, Actual
and Gretel solid 15 minutes dream the worst monster
A D D 2 P O I N T S A D D 4 P O I N T S You’re the Someone’s Where are you
kind of person really on their even traveling

Charging your phone Obsessively looking who just looks sock-removing, that you have
in the bathroom over your shoulder at like they smell nail-polishing, enough time
because you happened the rando sitting next good. When bathroom- to be this
to notice an outlet last to you to see if they people see you hogging disruptive? Is
time you were in there noticed the sex scene waiting in line agenda. Acti- The Princess
and still need to edit a in your in-flight movie at the gate, vate your Diaries a
few vacay IGs A D D 1 P O I N T
they hope and self-awareness movie option?
A D D 3 P O I N T S
pray they’ll switch, put Make Julie
be sitting next away your Andrews your
Flossing your teeth Playing Candy Crush to you. toes, and we’ll life coach.
A D D 2 P O I N T S with the sound on
all be fine. ILLUSTR ATIONS: LEE WOODGATE.
A D D 2 P O I N T S

20 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020