Page 28 - Cosmopolitan - USA (February 2020)

y o u
middle school hair
reveals about your future
Remember that time your BFF cut your side bangs? Yeah....
Middle part
You’ll make your first
million by inventing a
DNA-based dating app.
Your “F*ck Your Glass
Ceiling” Facebook group
has millions of followers,
which sparks your run
for POTUS in 2028. Your
platform: a four-day
workweek.
A swoopy
side bang
Future you quits your
job to run your dog’s
Instagram account full
time, which will be a
huge success! You’ll
land an anchor spot on
a morning show, where
you meet your very hot,
very helpful bae, who
becomes your assistant.
He and your fur bb
propose to you
on Instagram Live.
Boob-length
strands
Any day now, you’ll
realize the corporate
world is not for you and
decide to “eat, pray,
love” your way through
the rest of your 20s.
By 30, you create a
naked yoga studio
franchise that holds only
morning classes. You
call it Wake and Nake.
22 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020
T H I S = T H A T
What your
B y S A R A H W E L D O N
Choppy,
straight layers
Your love for punk rock
morphs into an obsession
with EDM. You’ll move
to Colorado, plan your
life around raves at the
Red Rocks Amphitheatre,
and score a sweet job
T AY L O R A N D R E W S R AY D E N E H A N S E N A N N W A N G
a s sist a n t s e x & re l a t io ns hips e dit o r s e ni o r v is u a ls e d it o r f a s hi o n e d it o r running a CBD company.
We see you on the cover
of Forbes as America’s
Chillest CEO.
Ombré
You’ll snag a 9-to-5
as a buyer for a much-
loved department store.
K I A G O O S B Y R O S A H E Y M A N L A U R E N A D H A V But your real passion
f a s hi o n e d it o r d e p u t y e d it o r a s s o c i a t e f a s hi o n e d i t o r will be designing and
selling kitchenware
featuring lyrics from
Lizzo and Kesha songs.
Your future best seller
is a pie pan that says,
“I’m 100% that dish.”
Bravo, fam.
Chunky statement
J E N N A A N D R E W S A S H L E Y O E R M A N A N D R E A Z E N D E J A S
s e ni o r v is u a ls e d it o r d e p u t y lif e s t y l e d ir e c t o r f a s hi o n e d it o r headband
Although a literal prince
proposes to you, you’ll
end up getting hitched to
your on-again, off-again
college boyfriend in a
very ~fashun~ wedding
dress. You stay close
with all your old besties,
including your childhood
maid. And every time
M A R Y F A M A C H L O E M E T Z G E R R U B Y B U D D E M E Y E R hatbands come back into
a r t d ir e c t o r s e ni o r b e a u t y e d it o r b e a u t y e d it o r
style, you cry tears of
joy. You’re Blair Waldorf.
C O S M O
Y E A R B O O K
Yes, this entire
story *is* a subtle
drag of our 2007
K A T I E C Z E R W I N S K I C A R LY C A R D E L L I N O V A C C A R O R A C H E L J O H N S O N
m o t i o n d e si g n e r b e a u t y d ir e c t o r s e ni o r d e si g n e r hair choices.