Page 72 - Berg_Mortuary_Bishops_Guide

72 BISHOP’S GUIDE

“And now, I hope it is clearer why part of that hope in Christ is hope in the future, a future
that includes resurrection and salvation and exaltation. He is my hope on rainy Monday morn-
ings, my hope on dark nights, and my hope in the face of death and despair.”

-Chieko N. Okazaki

BEREAVEMENT EDUCATION SUPPORT

DEALING WITH DEATH AND DYING: PROVIDING EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
FOR THE BEREAVED OR TERMINALLY ILL

By Clifford J. Stratton
Late one summer afternoon while I was studying in my college dormitory room, I received a
phone call from my best friend, Dave, and his new wife, Peggy. They were about to conclude

their honeymoon and wanted to take me to a movie.
Dave and Peggy were probably my closest friends. I had introduced them to each other. We’d
served together for a year on the same stake MIA board. Dave and I had corresponded during
our missions, and we came back to the same school. I was a witness when Dave and Peggy were
married in the temple.

“Only one catch,” Peggy explained over the phone. “I get to choose your date. There is some-
one very special I want you to meet; she’s my cousin, Marsha. ...”
I had been so close to this couple for such a long time, and we had shared so many wonder-
ful times together that I readily consented to date the attractive young lady she had in mind,

whom I had known for most of my life but with whom I had never become involved socially.
Ten months later they accompanied us to the temple when we were married.
All four of us were overjoyed when Peggy became pregnant. Then tragedy struck. One week
before their first wedding anniversary, Dave was rushed to the hospital and in a few days passed
away because of a brain tumor.

Marsha and I felt the loss very deeply. In fact, this was the first time in my life that I felt real
grief and bereavement. I wanted very much to be able to comfort Peggy, but I simply didn’t
know how. I felt helpless when confronted with her pain and her questions.
Now, many years later, I have seen death and dying in my family, as a bishop, and as a doc-

tor. I find that most members react as I did at Dave’s death. We sincerely want to help but are
hesitant because we are uncomfortable in our own inexperience. Each time I assist the bereaved
and dying I feel that same hesitancy.
Yet there are ways to help, and the value that comes from the very substantial support and
strength of a sincerely concerned family member, priesthood leader, or friend cannot be mea-