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Getty Images Leader’s Bookshelf

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by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler

Almost all of us have experienced the discomfort of a a high-risk conversation, the leader has to start with
crucial conversation, which refers to a discussion where the right motives and stay calm and focused no mat-
emotions run strong, opinions vary, and the stakes are ter what happens. To stay focused, leaders have to
high. Crucial conversations are conversations about tough know what they want for themselves, for others, and
issues that may cause conflict. Some examples that occur for the relationship.
in the workplace include confronting a co-worker who • When people are at cross purposes, think CRIB.
makes suggestive comments or behaves offensively, Commit to seek a mutual purpose; Recognize the
approaching a boss who is breaking his own safety rules, purpose behind the strategy; Invent a mutual purpose;
or talking to a team member who isn’t keeping commit- Brainstorm new strategies. When people are poles
ments. For most of us, the more crucial the conversation, apart on what they want, leaders can use this tool to
the less likely we are to handle it well. The authors of bring people back to dialogue. They first get people to
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are commit to finding some agreement, strive to discern
High take a step-by-step approach to explore tools leaders the true purpose behind one another’s words; find
can use to help create the conditions, within themselves broader goals that can serve as a basis for mutual
and others, for effectively dealing with difficult issues. purpose; and, with a mutual purpose as a grounding,
brainstorm ideas for meeting each person’s individual
THE LEADER’S ROLE IN CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS needs.
Leaders use the technique of dialogue to keep them-
selves and others calm and focused when discussions COMMUNICATING WHEN IT MATTERS MOST
turn into crucial conversations. Here are a few guidelines: When we’re angry, upset, frustrated, anxious, or other-
wise influenced by strong emotions, conversation often
• Encourage a free flow of information. When it comes
deteriorates into violence or silence, verbally attacking the
to controversial, risky, and emotional conversations,
other person or verbally withdrawing. These are the times
effective leaders find a way to get all relevant informa-
when dialogue is most important. Crucial Conversations
tion from themselves and others into the open. At the
offers ideas for thinking about and preparing for difficult
core of every successful crucial conversation is the
conversations, along with specific tips and tools that can
free flow of information and ideas, with people feel-
help leaders say and do the right thing.
ing safe enough to openly and honestly express their
opinions, feelings, and theories.
Source: Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are
• Start with heart. A key principle of dialogue is that the
High, by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al
leader starts with getting his or her own heart right. In Switzler, is published by McGraw-Hill.
Both forms of communication, dialogue and discussion, can result in organi-
zational change. However, the result of a discussion is limited to a specifi c topic
being deliberated, whereas the result of dialogue is characterized by group unity,
shared meaning, and transformed mindsets. This kind of result is far-reaching.
A new, common mindset is not the same thing as agreement, because it creates
a reference point from which subsequent communication can start. As new and
deeper solutions are developed, a trusting relationship is built among communica-
tors, which is important to all communication episodes that follow. Dialogue thus
transforms communication and, by extension, the organization.

The Leader as Communication Champion

To act as a communication champion, as described earlier in this chapter, lead-
ers don’t communicate just to convey information, but to persuade and infl u-
ence others. They use communication skills to sell others on the vision and
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