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Accepting My Grandpa’s Death
By Joshua

“Joshua please don’t be shocked, I need to tell you something.” My mom said calmly

“Don’t worry mom, what is it ?”I replied

“Your grandfather just passed away this morning at 1 am.”

“It’s okay mom, don’t worry I'm not shocked and I hope he is at a better place now.“

I said that calmly even though I was very upset. I ate my breakfast while trying to hold
my tears in front of my mom because I didn’t want her to see me cry,
My mom decided to show me a picture of my grandpa when he was still alive. I couldn’t hide
my tears anymore so I said to my mom that I wanted to shower as an excuse to cry. Then
ran to the restroom in grief . My heart started beating rapidly as tears began to drip down
my cheeks while I held my chest. I wanted to scream but I held it in because I didn’t want to
make anyone worried about me. The feeling of sadness was overwhelming and my heart
also had this strange feeling making it very hard for me to breathe. I thought I was gonna
pass out, but I tried to calm myself. I then went to take a shower and then went to my room
and sat down.

I tried to recall the things my teacher said for the English fye test but I couldn’t focus. I
realized that everything I said to my mom was a lie, I was actually very shocked that he
died already. After a while the test started, during the test I couldn’t really focus so I ended
up not finishing it. After the test finished I started thinking back on why I was crying so much
even though my grandpa and I weren’t that close, but my sister was very close with him and
she cried for hours and couldn’t sleep when she heard the news about my grandpa passing
away.

My paternal grandparents had always wanted a daughter but instead they got three sons
and one of them was my dad. When they found out that my dad got a daughter they were
very happy. So my grandparents are very close with my sister but they weren’t that close
with me. When I played with my parents when I was a child my sister often went to my
grandparent’s apartment and spent time together with them at the mall.I used to go there
too sometimes, and spend time together but only when I am with my parents. I used to meet
them a lot but as we were growing older, we started having more tests and activities from
school so we began to spend less time with them. We began to only see them only on
Chinese New Year and Christmas.

Although we have spent time together since I was a kid, I personally don’t know them. I
don’t remember having a serious conversation with them but I still love them because they
are my grandparents and when my grandpa died I actually started to be very cautious

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