Page 140 - 100 - HR Management Manual

The higher up the organizational chart you are the less people you have
to vent to. Recognize this. Be careful. Venting sideway or down is NOT
TOLERATED!

Emails are NOT for venting or feelings. Wait to TALK about it. “You can
vent through email but never hit SEND!”

Don’t get emotionally hijacked. Don’t allow someone else to take up
unnecessary space in your head rent-free. When this happens, you will
feel anxiety, chronic anger, or a sense of futility (nothing is going to
change). Fix the problem! Talk it through with empathy for the other
person.

90% of negative emotions at work is because of the relationship with
the BOSS, which is you! Assure your relationships are good by
controlling your own emotional reactions! Think it through.

Social Awareness:
When speaking with a staff member about an emotional issue after they
have shared all they have to say, it’s best to: start with “I am ___”, “I
understand you..”, or “I feel ___” (this validates them and keeps them
from feeling attacked or fearful:
o “I bet you feel like …..”
o “I imagine it feels like ….”
o “I am confused. I asked you about ____and now you are
discussing or upset about _____. Tell me what is going on?”

As a manager, you should know what those you supervise are feeling.
 If your answer is “I don’t care” you are not ready to be manager.
 If your answer is “I don’t know” you are not doing your job.

Understanding other’s feelings does not mean YOU have to feel it too.
It does not mean you have to feel it too.

You can end with, “Thank you for your feedback. I’ll consider what you
are saying.” Then end the meeting if needed.

When you are trying to figure out others’ feelings don’t just guess that
you know. TEST yourself by asking that person, “I understand that you
are feeling ____”.

Relationship Management: The primary thing her is always having EMPATHY for the other person.
Have a genuine and authentic concern for others. Truly care about
them. Understand them.

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