Page 333 - SHERLOCK transcripts

332

MYCROFT: Just like old times.
SHERLOCK: No, I don’t understand.
MYCROFT: Well, it’s the end of an era, isn’t it? John and Mary – domestic bliss.
SHERLOCK: No, no, no – I prefer to think of it as the beginning of a new chapter.
(Mycroft simply smiles.)
SHERLOCK: What?
MYCROFT: Nothing!
SHERLOCK: I know that silence. What?
MYCROFT: Well, I’d better let you get back to it. You have a big speech, or something, don’t
you?
SHERLOCK (still demanding an answer to his previous question): What?
MYCROFT: Cake, karaoke ... mingling.
SHERLOCK (angrily): Mycroft!
MYCROFT: This is what people do, Sherlock – they get married. I warned you: don’t get
involved.
SHERLOCK: Involved? I’m not involved.
MYCROFT (disbelievingly): No.
SHERLOCK: John asked me to be his best man. How could I say no?
MYCROFT (insincerely): Absolutely!
SHERLOCK: I’m not involved!
MYCROFT (insincerely): I believe you! Really, I do! Have a lovely day, and do give the happy
couple my best.
SHERLOCK: I will.
(He lowers the phone, about to switch it off when Mycroft speaks again. Sherlock lifts the phone
to his ear once more.)
MYCROFT: Oh, by the way, Sherlock – do you remember Redbeard?
(Sherlock’s jaw tightens.)
SHERLOCK: I’m not a child any more, Mycroft.
MYCROFT: No, of course you’re not. Enjoy not getting involved, Sherlock.
(Sherlock hangs up. He looks down for a moment, then walks across the room towards the top
table.)

Fast-forward – literally – through the wedding meal as the guests eat their way through the
three courses and drink lots of champagne, and then the Master of Ceremonies – or possibly
just the head waiter – taps a spoon against a champagne glass to get everyone’s attention.
MASTER OF CEREMONIES: Pray silence for the best man.
(The guests applaud and cheer as Sherlock rises to his feet at the top table. John and Mary are
sitting to his right; Janine to his left. He buttons his jacket, looking a little uncomfortable.)
SHERLOCK: Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends ... and ... erm ... others.
(He stops and blinks. There’s an awkward pause.)
SHERLOCK: Er ... w...
(John narrows his eyes and looks up at him.)
SHERLOCK: A-a-also ...
(Mary lifts a thumb to her mouth, rubbing it on her top lip. Mrs Hudson looks nervous and Greg
sits back a little, looking concerned.)

FLASHBACK. Greg walks into Molly’s lab at Bart’s.
MOLLY: Greg.
LESTRADE: Molly.
MOLLY (turning to him): I just had a thought.
(She is holding a large metal bowl in front of her. He looks into it.)
LESTRADE: Is that a brain?!
MOLLY: What if John asks Sherlock to be his best man?
LESTRADE: Well, he will, won’t he? He’s bound to.
MOLLY: Exactly.
LESTRADE: So?
MOLLY: So he’ll have to make a speech in front of people.
(Greg gazes into the distance as if realising the ramifications of this for the first time.)
MOLLY: There’ll be actual people there, actually listening.
LESTRADE (tentatively): Well, what’s the worst that could happen?
MOLLY: Helen Louise probably wondered the same.

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)