Page 334 - SHERLOCK transcripts

333

LESTRADE: Helen Louise?
(Molly pointedly looks down at the brain in her bowl.)

FLASHBACK. Mrs Hudson, sitting in her kitchen, answers the phone.
MRS HUDSON: Oh, hallo, dear.
(Molly is on the other end of the line, again in her lab. She is wearing safety goggles and there
is blood spatter on her lab coat. She is holding an electric bone saw in the blood-covered glove
on her other hand.)
MOLLY (into phone): I was just thinking. If-if John does ask Sherlock ...
MRS HUDSON: What, the speech, dear? No, it’ll be fine.
MOLLY: It-it’s not just the speech, though, is it?

Shortly afterwards, John lets himself in the front door of 221 and walks towards the stairs.
High-pitched hysterical noises are coming through the open door of 221A. As the noises
continue, punctuated with an occasional squeal of, “Oh, dear!” and “Oh, brilliant!” John goes
into her flat and looks into the kitchen in concern.
JOHN: Mrs Hudson?
(She waves to him from where she is sitting at the table, laughing hysterically.)
MRS HUDSON: Oh, hello, darling! (She continues to giggle.)
JOHN: You all right?
(She covers her mouth, laughing.)
JOHN: I was – I was coming to see Sherlock, and I thought you were ...
MRS HUDSON (giggling): Go!
JOHN: ... possibly dying. (He grins at the sight of her mirth.)
MRS HUDSON: Oh, sorry!
(She continues laughing.)
JOHN: What’s wrong?
MRS HUDSON: The-the telegrams!
(She giggles.)
JOHN (grinning but clearly with no idea what she means): Sorry, what?
MRS HUDSON (giggling): Oh, sorry, dear!
(Standing up, she pats his arm and walks away, still shrieking with laughter. John looks
bemused.)

THE PRESENT. John closes his eyes in realisation.
JOHN (quietly): Telegrams.
(Mary looks at him and Sherlock jolts out of his blankness.)
SHERLOCK: Right, um ...
(He pats his pockets, then seems to realise that the telegrams are in a pile in front of him. John
clears his throat. Sherlock does likewise and looks at the guests, swallowing hard.)
SHERLOCK: First things first. Telegrams.
(He picks up the cards and shows them to the guests.)
SHERLOCK (quick fire): Well, they’re not actually telegrams. We just call them telegrams. I
don’t know why. Wedding tradition.
(He lifts the first card.)
SHERLOCK (sarcastically): ... because we don’t have enough of that already, apparently.
(John narrows his eyes a little.)
SHERLOCK (reading): “To Mr and Mrs Watson. So sorry I’m unable to be with you on your
special day. Good luck and best wishes, Mike Stamford.”
JOHN: Ah, Mike.
MARY: Ahh!
SHERLOCK (reading the next card): “To John and Mary. All good wishes for your special day.
With love and many big ... (he breaks off, then continues slowly) ... big squishy cuddles, from
Stella and Ted.”
(He looks up, blinking rapidly. Greg sniggers and Molly smiles.)
SHERLOCK (reading the next card): “Mary – lots of love, ...”
(He breathes out an almost silent ‘Oh.’ John and Mary look up at him.)
JOHN: Yeah?
SHERLOCK (disparagingly): “... poppet ...”
(He loudly sounds the ‘t’ at the end of the word. John and Mary giggle.)
SHERLOCK: “... Oodles of love and heaps of good wishes from CAM.”

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)